I got off work early today, I thought I would surprise my wife with a box of chocolates. I opened the door slowly and said, "Honey I'm homo." She said, "What!?" I said, "I meant home." (as I thought in my head "Oh geez, I can't keep letting subtle hints like that slip about my sexuality.) Then she walked from her room straight in front of me. There she stood, butt naked, wearing nothing but her dingle berries and dried sweat from her armpit hair. She was as beautiful as ever. Her nipples hardened as I walked towards her. "These are for you." I said in a soothing and romantic voice. "What's in the box!?" She asked excitingly, I mean she orgasmed right there on the spot! Vaginal fluids started dripping down on the floor. It made me kind of mad at first because I knew I'd be the one to clean it up, but fortunately the dog came over and licked it up. She then asked, "Is this a surprise?" You see, the box was blank. I said, "No, there are chocolates inside. What's inside the box is not the surprise, what's inside the chocolates is the real surprise." So she took a big bite out of one of the chocolates, and sure enough, my semen was inside them.
Her mouth salivated with every bite she took. She then used her excess saliva and rubbed it all up inside my ear. "Wet willy." She said. Then I told her "No, that's my ear. If you want to give me a wet willy you'll have to go down a bit further." I then slowly undid my pants as I gazed her in the eyes. My penis had been erect the whole time I was home, but now it was starting to get too much blood gushing inside of it and it really hurt. As soon as I took off my underwear I noticed red spots all over my penis. It seemed I had internal bleeding because of too much blood rush and my penis was throbbing like "robbing" except with "th before the "r". She said, "Ooohhh, I'll make your booboo feel all better." She then put her mouth around my penis and started sucking extremely powerfully. The powerful sucking felt so good I didn't want to tell her to stop, but as soon as she took her mouth off my wiener to gasp for air, my penis was completely red. It was like getting a hicky, but on my prepuce instead of my neck. It drew blood to the surface of my foreskin and it was visible everywhere. "That feels good, but I really need a break for a little bit." I told her. I figured I could give her some pleasure while my "limited edition action figure" had a rest. I knelt between her legs. I had to smell what her vagina smelled like today. It seems to smell at least slightly different everyday. Her anal passage is relatively the same whenever I smell it regardless of what her diet is. The only exception is if she farts or has a defication problem such as constipation. However, her vagina seems to change smells quite frequently and I can't figure out why. Therefore, I have a blast smelling it pretty much everyday. Today it smelled very much like my mom's vagina which is quite a nice change from yesterday when it smelled like my dad's vagina. So after smelling her vagina I started chinning it.
I just thrusted my chin into it and started moving up and down like you see ultimate fighters do. It fatigued me quite quickly however, so then I jammed my big toe in there. Unfortunately, I forgot to clip my toenails and I accidentally cut her clitoris. It started bleeding and the blood rolled down her gooch and around to where her anal passage is. That gave me an idea. I thought it would be cool to give oral sex to her butt right now because her blood could serve as nice lubrication. So I started licking inside her buttcrack. I could tell right away that she didn't wipe after pooping today, although that's not quite as annoying as when she forgets to pluck out her pubic lice. I could hear her moaning as I licked her chocolatey, gooey, center. I didn't know if she was moaning out of the pain from when I cut her, or if she was moaning out of pleasure. Therefore, I looked deep into her eyes and she looked back at me, and the look was of love. I thought to myself, "How can you express such deep love just by looking at someone?" I wanted to experience more of that love, so I licked her eyeballs. I licked her eyeballs in an attempt to get more of that love I saw in her eyes when she looked at me. My plan was a success. Licking her eyeballs was so erotic, and at about that time I could feel the internal bleeding of my penis go away. So she squatted down and stuck her tongue in my urethra.
I had practiced stretching out my urethra and it proved very useful. I also have a very thin penis and she has rather wide nostrils, so we decided to get some penis in nostril action going on. Once we did that I could hold back no longer! I spent so long practicing Kegel excercises that way I could have better control over my orgasms, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore, it felt too good! So I ejaculated semen all inside her nose. She then snorted it and then stuck out her tongue, and sure enough she snowballed it through her nose. With the semen still on her tongue, she jammed her tongue in me bum hole. Now with all this semen inside me bum hole I farted it all over her face. We had never tried something this daring, but we loved it! I then licked up all the semen I farted over her face and swallowed! MMMmmmm yummy! Best dessert I've had in my life! I still managed to maintain my erection after orgasming without having to go through a refraction period, this allowed us to continue our action without delay.
She said to me "I want your hard penis in my firm vagina now!" I had an even better idea though. I grabbed my testicles real firmly and jammed them both inside her vagina. She could then squeeze her legs and control my testicles while they were inside her. While she worked with my testicles, I started jamming my wiener into her belly button. I then stretched out my foreskin and she started licking it. It felt so good when she was licking my foreskin that I just had to orgasm again. As soon as I did though, I pinched my foreskin together. This trapped all the semen inside it. I then put my face down and bit my foreskin with my teeth, still keeping the semen trapped inside. I kept it closed with my teeth as she started stroking me off. The semen provided excellent lubrication and stimulation while the foreskin remained in an unretracted and stretched out position. As she was stroking with one hand, she was stimulating my prostate with the other. With my two free hands I was caressing her boobs and fiddling with her nipples. I mumbled "I love you!" I couldn't say it very clearly, but she understood and then said the same to me. We both managed to orgasm one more time, and then we called it a day. We had fun that day, and couldn't wait until our next session tomorrow.
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