Vids Comics Research Etc Links


Horny Asexual

Jamie Stroud

"Can I ask you a personal question?" It's something I'd been wanting to ask him for a while. Jordon paused briefly, then replied, "Maybe, what is it?" I asked him, "Are you straight, gay, or bi?" It wasn't out of sexual interest that I asked, it was simply out of curiosity. I have a boyfriend after all, and he knows that. "What do you think I am?" he questioned me. "I think... I don't know, I think bisexual," I giggled, "I just pick up that sort of vibe from you for some reason." Jordon's face seemed to go numb as he stared at me and asked, "Can you keep a secret? It's just that I don't want everyone else at work knowing these things about me. They might not understand and it'd just be awkward. So, can you promise you won't tell anyone?" I assured him my trust, then he revealed to me something he never told anyone else. "Well, I'm more like the opposite of bisexual. I don't find anyone attractive. I can't look at people and get turned on, everyone just looks ugly to me. I know that must sound horrible but it's not like I want to feel that way. If I had any choice, I'd want to be attracted to every person I meet! At least I think I would, but I'm not even sure I know what it feels like to be attracted to someone. When people talk about how hot someone is, it feels like some abstract concept to me, I guess like color is to a color blind person. So, do you like, think I'm a total weirdo now or what?" I stuttered a bit, trying to process everything he said before answering. "Well, I can't say I've ever heard of anything like that before. I had the idea that everyone has sexual feelings just like everyone has angry feelings and happy feelings and everything else. But, I mean, no, I don't think you're weird. You're still the same cool guy I've always known, it's just that now I know a bit more about you. So, I take it you, like, never get horny then?" He cleared his throat. Well, that's the tragic part. I do, actually. I have sexual feelings but it's just so frustrating, you know, because I'd like to have someone to share those feelings with, but I don't think I'll ever get to experience that. It's just very hard having these feelings that I can't do anything about," he sighed, "I'm sorry for dumping all my strange problems on you." I told him, "No, don't be sorry. It's good to let these things out... but I'm not sure if I understand something. You said you still have sexual feelings even though you don't find anyone attractive. So, I mean, what goes through your head when you get horny? You must still have sexual fantasies, right? So, what do you fantasize about?" He started breathing rapidly and he looked as though he was in a lot of pain. It was as if he had been set on fire and he was trying desperately not to scream. "I don't want to talk about this anymore!" He shot out rapidly. He then grabbed his bag and hurried off. I had apparently crossed a boundary for him.

Weeks went by and we'd see each other almost everyday at work, yet neither of us brought the topic back up. I thought maybe it was best that way. Maybe some issues are just too personal and they're best kept to yourself. He seemed his normal self anyhow. Surprisingly, however, I got a phone call from Jordon. He apparently had a compulsive urge to bring the issue back up. "I used to wonder about something a lot, Robin. You know how you hear about those people in the news that go on murder sprees?" He asked. "Ya." I replied, worried about where he's going with this. "And then they'd kill themselves right afterwards..." He paused briefly then continued, "I used to wonder why they'd do that. I mean, why would they kill so many people if they're just going to commit suicide right after. Why not just commit suicide and spare all the harm from their murderous desires? But now I get it. I think before a person commits suicide, his mind needs to feel at peace. Even if you feel like leaving this world, as long as you feel like you have something you need to do, you'll have to do it before you off yourself." I butted in, "Jordon, why are you bringing this up? You're really scaring me." He went on, as if he didn't even acknowledge what I had just said. "I do have sexual fantasies Robin, but not about people, only about situations. I think about sick stuff... I think about people starving to death, children being beaten, the elderly being raped, wars, religious disputes, slow painful deaths by diseases, fighting and yelling amongst friends, loved ones tortured and murdered. I get off on those sorts of thoughts and I feel so sick because of it and I hate living this way!" He started sobbing, then he continued, "I really wished I could have just had a normal sex life." I then heard a gun shot go off. Lots of people go through pain in their life, but what makes someone feel so helpless and hopeless that he feels killing himself is the only solution? I'm sure it varies from case to case. When it comes to Jordon, the most crucial aspect of his life was ruined. I get the feeling that he felt dead long before his body perished.


Regular Time Octal Time
JS problem JS problem

Follow me!
Youtube (philosophy)
Youtube (acrobatics)
Youtube (juggling)
Instagram
Vimeo
Facebook
Twitter
Tumblr
LinkedIn
KinkBomb

Support me!
My Amazon Wish List
Donate To My PayPal
Donate To My Venmo: jamiestroud69
Donate To My BitCoin: 1DJ9XcGBg8ZkJZTYpvoVAf2NDiHDyVA4aN

How to contact me!
jamiestroud69@yandex.com